Community Activities
This Dying Matters Awareness Week, we’re encouraging open, honest conversations about death, dying, and grief — in every culture, every community, and in whatever way feels right.
We see every day how unique each farewell is — shaped by traditions, beliefs, and personal stories. That’s why we’re proud to support a culture in which talking about death is part of life. Because the Culture of Dying Matters.
This first reflection is from Diane, Funeral Service Arranger, Humphris Funerals.
‘My name is Diane, and I have always worked in professions that support people.
I have worked in the care sector, specialising in acquired brain injury and palliative care at home. I progressed from this to working in secondary schools with students with SEND and challenging behaviour.
When I was 13, I read the magazine Swayze Crazy, as I was a big Patrick Swayze fan. There was a feature in there about his father, Buddy’s, sudden death. In the article it said that when Patrick went to visit his dad in the chapel of rest, they had put so much make-up on him he looked like a clown. I remember thinking how awful this was and that that would be his last memory of his beloved father. From this point onward I knew this was a profession I wanted to be in but getting into it was harder than I thought.
In December 2023 I finally secured a position as a Funeral Arranger for Humphris Funerals in Banbury. A very proud day.
I feel so privileged and honoured to be part of the funeral profession. Every day is different and every day I am supporting families to provide their loved one with a service that represents them and is as bespoke as possible. I hold great esteem for the funeral home and its history that I work for and learn something new every day.
I feel that my attitude towards life and death has change since I have started working in this profession. I recognise how short life can be and how I should live my life and not just exist. No-one knows what is round the corner.
Prior to working in this profession, I had completed a degree, within this I studied death and dying. It amazed me how attitudes differ between cultures and opened my eyes to have death can be seen in different ways by different cultures.
I am also fascinated by the funeral process and how this differs from country to country. My approach to a funeral service is that it should bespoke to the family. I have recognised from the arrangements I have made that some families do not realise they can have something different from the ‘norm’ and it is my role to give them all their options to make the service unique. Such a privilege and honour.’
Our second reflection is from Russell, Senior Funeral Service Operative, Humphris Funerals.
‘I’ve worked in the funeral profession for well over 25 years, and in that time, I’ve seen both the profession and society’s attitudes toward death evolve in meaningful ways.
What was once a largely private and solemn affair has slowly become something more personal and open, with families seeking unique ways to honour and celebrate the lives of their loved ones.
Conversations around death, once taboo, are now being approached with more honesty and reflection. However, through all these changes, one aspect has always remained the same, the commitment to treating every family with compassion and every farewell with dignity and respect.
I’ve always had a deep sense of pride in the work I do. It’s a privilege to support families during some of their most difficult moments, and I never take that responsibility lightly. Every service we arrange, every detail we manage, is done with the utmost care and respect. To me, this wasn’t just a profession—it’s was a calling, and I am deeply honoured to serve within it.’
Our third reflection is from Jo, Office Manager, Humphris Funerals.
‘I have worked for Humphris Funerals for nearly 34 years. I started out as an Office Junior, then went on to produce estimates and orders of service for the company and finally to my current role as Office Manager.
I have always found my role very rewarding, being able to help families say goodbye to their loved ones in a dignified manner and enjoy working with the team here at Humphris.
Funerals have changed over the years and people now have lots of options to make their funeral services far more personal.
One thing that I think would be a good change is for everybody, no matter what their age, to talk about their funeral wishes and have it written down somewhere. It should no longer be an awkward conversation.’
Our fourth reflection is from Emma, Area Development Manager, Humphris Funerals.
‘From a very early age I’ve been driven to help people, especially people undergoing difficult times. At 15 years of age, I decided to go to a funeral director for work experience despite it being not exactly a conventional choice for a teenage, especially a female.
From that early experience I saw that the service provided by a funeral director was all about helping other people through what can be the most truly awful time of their lives and realised this was something I wanted to do. At the time this was unusual as the profession was male dominated but this didn’t stop me, and I was proud to become the area’s first female funeral director as my career within the profession progressed.
Over the span of my three decades within the funeral profession, I’ve seen many changes and one of the most significant parts has been the personalisation of service. I don’t just mean the actual service itself but the way in which the whole service delivered by the funeral director is bespoke to every individual client. Society has become more open to moving beyond traditional norms and we as funeral directors have changed to reflect that, a change for the better in my view. The introduction of technology to allow seamless connecting family and friends at home and abroad and the greater use of music, photo slideshows and webcasting is another key change for the better.
To use music as an example of how this works. Music is so powerful and a great way of personalising a funeral service to ensure family and friends feel connected to loved ones.
In my early career we delivered tapes to churches and crematoriums, and we had to ensure they were ready to play at the right place, we moved to CD’s and making sure they were in the case when family members bought them in and not still in the CD player at home. Now it’s so much easier working with the media service providers and talented organists and musicians to deliver exactly what clients and their loved ones want.
I’m so proud to lead and work alongside the team at Humphris Funerals, as I know we all share the same ethos the Humphris family had when the company began all those years ago in 1880, the Humphris Community Group is a testament to that.
Perhaps after reading our accounts, you may want to use this opportunity to discuss what you would like for your funeral service, you may have a particular wish or a different idea, my team and I will be able to help you.’
Our final reflection is from Simon Collier, Senior Funeral Director, Humphris Funerals.
‘Death is such a personal emotion. Each of us have our own ways to come to terms with it.
As a Funeral Director for 42 years, I have met some wonderful people at the saddest points in their lives. As I always say to people, you must celebrate their life, not mourn their death.
I always find time to talk to people and share their happy memories. No one can ever replace a loved one you have lost, they will remain in your heart forever.
Whatever your beliefs, you will have your own thoughts of what happens next. I truly believe we will be together again.’